The Keyboard Prayer

The Keyboard Prayer

Today I came across this amusing parody of the Lord’s Prayer Yellow smiley (Photo by Marcin Wichary, Creative Commons license.)

Below is a line-by-line comparison with the original prayer.  There are a few technical terms and inside jokes for programmers, which I’ve provided Wikipedia links for.

Our Program who art in Memory
Our Father, who art in heaven

Hello be Thy Name
Hallowed be thy Name

Thy Operating System come, Thy Commands be done
Thy kingdom come. Thy will be done

At the Printer as it is on the Screen
On earth as it is in heaven

Give us this day our daily Data
Give us this day our daily bread

And forgive us our I/O Errors
And forgive us our trespasses

As we forgive those whose Logic Circuits are faulty
As we forgive those who trespass against us

Lead us not into frustration
And lead us not into temptation

And deliver us from Power Surges
But deliver us from evil

For Thine is the Algorithm, the Application, and the Solution
For thine is the kingdom, and the power, and the glory

Looping forever and ever
For ever and ever

Return
Amen

The source of this parody appears to be a 1987 book called The Binary Bible of Saint Silicon by Jeffrey Armstrong.

The book also contains this amusing parody of the Genesis creation narrative Yellow smiley Again I’ve provided a line-by-line comparison with the original text.

Binary Bible, Beta Testament, SysGen, Chapter 1
King James Bible, Old Testament, Genesis, Chapter 1

In the beginning, the Giver Of Data generated silicon and carbon
In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth

And the system was without architecture and uninitialized
And the earth was without form, and void

And randomness was upon the arrangement of the matrix
And darkness was upon the face of the deep

And the intelligence of Giver Of Data etched upon the surface of the media
And the Spirit of God moved upon the face of the waters

And Giver Of Data said, “Let there be electricity.” And there was electricity
And God said, Let there be light: and there was light

And Giver Of Data saw the electricity; that it was logical
And God saw the light, that it was good

And Giver Of Data divided the 1’s from the 0’s
And God divided the light from the darkness

And Giver Of Data called the 1’s on and the 0’s off
And God called the light Day, and the darkness he called Night

And the switching of these two was the first cycle
And the evening and the morning were the first day

Read the rest of the parody here.

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